Merging your money
Marriage/Combining households October 13th, 2007
Combining households often means figuring out the best way to merge your money. If you decided to go that route, how did you do it, and how has it worked for you? What challenges have there been in keeping your financial identity while doing so?
October 13th, 2007 at 7:38 pm
That’s a tricky issue isn’t it? We have managed ok, but I have a friend who found this to a be a real struggle. we managed to both have personal accounts and a joint account for about a year- this worked well. However, because of bank fees, we merged all our money into one chequing account for awhile. Only recently have we re-divided our money into the 2 personal and one shared account. I think it makes both of us breathe easier to thinkg we are able to have our “own” money, even if there is not much money in these accounts right now while we pay off our debts.
In terms of debts, we have unequal debt loads, but we share the payments. This may not work for others, but it does for us. It evens out in the end for us- while I was at school Mr Wooly made more than I did, and there have been periods where I make more than he does.
We are on the way to find a a path we both agree of in terms of finances, but it took us several years to get here :)
October 14th, 2007 at 7:12 am
I have 3 separate accounts: chequing, savings, super savings, and a joint account with Husband. I’ve pressured him to get his own separate account too but he doesn’t really want to/care since he doesn’t work and doesn’t have any income to put in it. So his only chequing/savings account is our joint one, and we talk about any purchase over $50 or $100. We also have our own fun money allocated out of my income each month.
We also have joint credit cards… and I came into the relationship with about $50,000 in debt - this was last year when I had to start paying it back, and he came in with $10,000. I cleared his debt this year in full this year, and mine will be finished by the end of next year.
We agree on the following:
1. Clear all our debts - I paid for all of our loan payments: his and mine since he doesn’t work.
2. Save for a downpayment on a home - again, out of my income only
3. He won’t work unless I lose my job or something goes awry, because he’s going to be working on our home (building it)
4. I’ll keep working and furthering my career.
Relevant Posts from my Fabulously Broke in the City blog:
Money in Marriages
Loosening the Purse Strings
October 14th, 2007 at 7:23 am
Oh, and it should also be noted that money management is also important/different when you’re unmarried as well…
October 16th, 2007 at 1:16 pm
When Darling and I first married, neither of us even had an American checking account (he closed his British account before crossing the Atlantic). So we stepped into marriage with a clean financial slate…except debt. We opened a checking account together with money his sister loaned us, and five months later we scrimped and saved the $300 to open a savings account. Since Darling couldn’t work for our first year and a half of marriage, we learned to live on one (tiny) income, which we shared as equals. Disposable income was too tiny to divide. Every treat was debated, and then shared. As we approach our third anniversary we still discuss every expense, debt, and investment on a regular basis. Eventually the time will come for us to open separate checking accounts, but neither of us is desperate to have our “own” money at this point. We’re just not used to it.
I should mention that this money relationship did not come easily. There have been power struggles, quiet resentments, and “you bought WHAT?!!?’s.” Overall, however, I believe our relationship has benefited from the lessons we’ve taught ourselves.
October 16th, 2007 at 9:03 pm
I can’t imagine NOT having our finances combined. But our relationship really is built on trust and being equals (helped, no doubt, by the fact that we both earn good salaries that are about equal) so we haven’t had any problems. It’s actually forced us to discuss openly and do some give and take, which I think is healthy for a marriage :D
October 18th, 2007 at 5:31 pm
I think that whatever works for your situation is the way to go. If it’s not working, change it. My husband and I each have our “own” checking accounts and a joint savings. We also each have our “own” budgets. We have certain household bills that we each pay (he pays association dues, telephone, etc. while I pay electricity, water, etc.). We’ve split the bills pretty evenly based on our respective incomes. And while we have our “own” accounts, they are actually two joint accounts so I have full access to his and he to mine. This makes it easier to transfer money between the two when needed. This just made sense to us since we dated for 9 years before marrying so instead of completely rearranging our financial lives when we got married (there’s enough upheaval during that first year!) we just added each other to our accounts. And it’s worked great for us ever since so we’ve kept it that way.
October 19th, 2007 at 6:01 am
My husband and I have kept our finances separate for 24 years. I discuss a couple of reason on my blog today and at paidtwice.
October 20th, 2007 at 7:48 am
We have a joint checking account and we both work on our budget. We have a book that is written in everyday when money is spent regardless of amount. It all depends on whether you work as a team. If you do a joint account is a good idea, but you have to be on the same page. However, we do have our own savings. Each savings account has the same amount deposited into it each month. We really have no problem with the joint account, we prefer it that way. It’s easier to keep all of our finances together.
October 23rd, 2007 at 12:32 pm
I haven’t had the need for joint accounts in my experience, and things have worked out just great. One spouse typically paid for a large monthly expense (like rent/mortgage), and the other paid for the rest. Through good accounting and excellent communication, we would reimburse each other for overages spent.
By doing this, we each have maintained a sense of individuality and personal accountability (for example I helped my partner dig his way out of an enormous amount of debt from prior to our relationship, but he can honestly say he did it himself and is very proud of it).
That, and we saved the additional bank fees for having a separate account!
Check out my article on just this matter here:http://www.wisebread.com/separate-bank-accounts-till-death-or-banking-do-we-part
November 13th, 2007 at 10:45 am
Our decision to merge our money was pretty much automatic since my boyfriend and I purchased our first home together. Our money-merge is why I chose to write about the subject in “7 Tips for Successful Money Management” at http://blog.lifeedit.net/2007/10/7-tips-for-successful-relationship.html
My boyfriend’s standpoint on money was that I should be able to take care of 90%, leaving the 10% in his personal account for him to control. This is fine, because allowing me to control our income and finances is efficient and easy.
Most of our money is going to debt repayment (joint and personal, but all paid out of our joint account) and our living expenses, as well as building up an emergency fund and saving for our retirement. We always keep a buffer in our accounts for smaller expenses, so we don’t always feel like we’re pinching pennies.
My number one tip for merging finances is to be very, very communicative - we have a “finance talk” every Sunday where we discuss upcoming expenditures, our goals and our progress. By keeping a bit separate, not sweating the very small stuff and having open discussions, we seem to be well on our way to good money management!