Don’t Avoid Your Credit Crisis

It can truly be one of the lowliest and loneliest feelings, hearing your home phone ringing off the hook and knowing another bill collector is on the other end of the phone – demanding money you know you do not have.

Judgment of Others

Not so long ago, people who couldn’t pay their bills felt a certain stigma was placed upon them by people who knew of their struggles. They were looked down upon, regardless of the real reasons behind their inability to pay bills. But now, in such a mixed up economy, more and more people have to confront the same scenario as those whom they once criticized. More individuals are struggling to pay daily living expenses and their bills each month, often with nothing left over.

Falling behind in payments and finding it more difficult to make payments in full, or on time, will always result in serious financial troubles. The situation can spin out of control very quickly and lead to feeling of embarrassment and being overwhelmed. Eventually many will avoid the subject all together, believing since they have no money, there is no point in talking to the bill collectors who call relentlessly.

Be Proactive With Financials

Unfortunately, not all bill collectors are friendly, helpful, or even civil; but the reality is that your debt will not go away unless you deal with it straight on. If at all possible, start dealing with it before it becomes and issues. If you know you are going to have difficulty meeting monthly financial obligations, such as credit card or mortgage payments, get on the phone with your lender and figure out what can be done before the situation is out of control.

Procrastination and debt do not mix and it is never too late to gain control of your financial situation. While it may be a difficult and emotional roller coaster ride, consider for a moment what your life would be like if you continued to ignore your financial situations and obligations.

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Tisha Kulak is a writer for Creditorweb.com, where she writes about credit card offers, finances, credit cards, and responsible credit card use.

By: Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil

The women’s lib movement helped give women the power to do anything they wanted – yet in some ways has contributed to a power struggle between men and women ever since. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing – after all, if we’re not struggling, we’re not growing! - but we need to be aware of it, and how it can manifest itself in our relationships.

A big way this happens is when women make more than their partners. Both men and women in some cases seem to be equally conflicted about how they feel when the “traditional” role of the man as the breadwinner is overturned by the women’s ability – and desire – to make more. The most common way these feeling manifest themselves in a marriage or relationship is through conflict that centers on money.

There are things you can do – no matter what your stage in life or in your relationship – that can help minimize these struggles. These are good tips to keep in mind even if you don’t feel like money is a power struggle in your relationship.

What men can do:

• Appreciate her sacrifices
• Acknowledge what she does professionally
• Focus on the positives – you may have more free time, more entrepreneurial possibilities and freedom to take more financial risk
• Encourage her is she’s traveling for work or working late hours – don’t contribute to the guilt she may feel

What women can do:

• Be his biggest advocate
• Be discrete – don’t brag about your earning power, don’t damage his ego
• Feel grateful for what he brings to the relationship
• Discuss money – but in the context of shared goals. Acknowledge that his paycheck is also helping you reach these goals

What to do together:

• Take turns paying the bills so it doesn’t feel like one person has the “financial upperhand.”
• Prioritize
• Negotiate
• Discuss any resentment immediately
• CREATE moments for fondness and appreciation.

Married AND single people struggle with this things and it can be hard for women who are – on the one hand, encouraged to pursue their dreams, and then on the other hand made to feel guilty if they outshine men or chose their career over “traditional” feminine roles. This creates problems not only for the women themselves, but for their significant others as they try to relate to the woman in their lives.

Men and women, in general, have different approaches to acquiring power and money, so it becomes even more important to take the tips above to heart and to communicate with your partner to avoid sliding into any type of revenge behavior or financial infidelity.

Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil has been an internationally acclaimed relationship therapist for thirty years. New York magazine named her one of the city’s top therapists and Psychology Today named her one of America’s best therapists. Her new book, Financial Infidelity, is available on her site at http://www.docbon.com/

One of the tables in the database on this site somehow got corrupted. My husband was able to get things restored, but I’m not 100% sure that all of the member sites made it back. If you’re a member and aren’t on the blogroll, email or post a comment here to let me know and I’ll re-add you.

Also, as a reminder, guest posts written especially for this site are welcome.

The following post is from Nicole Ouellette, who maintains her own personal finance blog, Breaking Even and does freelance writing. You can email her with questions or inquiries at lasouriante@gmail.com. You can also just read her blog and tell her how fabulous she is; she likes that too. . .

When my mother bought me an etiquette book four years ago the Christmas after I graduated from college, I couldn’t have been more insulted. Raised in a family where thank you notes had to be written and a note on the counter indicated both where you were going and when you were coming back, why did I need a book to tell me to be nice to people?

I took out Emily Post’s Etiquette a few days ago in an effort to figure out support group etiquette (I’ll make a long story short: there is none). I then began perusing the book, looking for money-related manners. There was no one section on the subject but tips about handling money matters (who pays on dates, how much to spend on a wedding gift) were peppered throughout the book, with a very comprehensive index so you can find them all.

In short, the Golden Rule of Money (my wording) from this book is that finances are never to be discussed outside of very close family. (Maybe that’s why there is quite a powerful group of personal finance bloggers online; it’s almost voyeuristic to be reading about someone else’s money!) I must have read the Golden Rule of Money awhile ago because if you’ve met me in a social situation the last few years, my initial question is not what you do for work but something along the lines of “So what do you do for fun around here?” or “Are you originally from this area?” I’ve found that what people do for work will not divulge the most interesting things about them anyway.

So what about the book in general? To be honest, I think more people could stand to skim through it. It’s pretty thick but does cover a lot of ground. I think in general many younger people (my age group included) need to learn a little more about cell phone etiquette in particular. I have mentally written off people for taking calls while out with me or talking loudly in line at the grocery store. But that’s not to say I don’t have ways I can improve in the manners department. Every time I pick up the book, I learn something new, too. I actually use it as a reference more than I thought I would. If I received it as a gift now, I would be much more grateful.

Knowing manners allows you to place value on thoughtful actions and gestures and not necessarily throw money at a problem. (Inappropriately expensive gifts, for example, are a liability in the manners world, not your ticket to the top.) I may not exude fine breeding but I can be thrown in with fancy people (or very unfancy people) and feel confident of my actions. Who knows how many connections simple manners can get you, how many jobs or raises or other compensation will eventually come your way because you exude politeness? I can say with confidence that it’s gotten me places, though it is impossible to give a figure to it. Though I suppose the more valuable things in life don’t necessarily have a dollar value.

Speaking of money, the book itself is fairly thrifty. At at less than $30, it makes an appropriate gift for mostly anyone. Maybe money can buy manners after all, or at least a book to sit on someone’s shelf until they can truly appreciate it.

The following is a guest post by Heather P. Johnson. She is a freelance writer, as well as a contributor for Credit Card Lowdown, a site for finding credit card reviews. Heather invites your comments and freelancing job opportunities at her email address: heatherjohnson2323@gmail.com.

Women have a lot of expectations these days. They are expected to be mothers, sisters, daughters, successful in their careers, and leaders of their families. For the modern day career woman, finances can be on of the biggest worries. That being said, I’ve come up with 8 nice tips for women to save their family money every month. More take-home pay usually equals less stress and more money available to save and have fun with.

1. Home cooked meals - One of the best ways one can save money is by simply taking the time to cook meals at home. With women’s busy schedules today, it often becomes much easier to simply go out, or order deliver than take the time to cook a nice meal.

However, even easy little meals can save you tremendous amounts of cash. One example is pasta. Cooking pasta is quick, nutritious, easy, and very cheap. So if you want more cash in your wallet, just say no to going out to eat in the evenings. Shop smart, and you’ll find that you have a lot more cash at the end of the day.

2. Carpool – Carpools are great for saving money. If all the kids in the neighborhood have to get to school, and the bus isn’t an option, why not share the responsibility amongst parents? Coming up with a nice way to carpool can save a significant amount of money. If you only have to drive to school once a week, instead of five times, the amount of gas you’ll save will more than make up for the extra time taken to pick up a few of your children’s friends.

3. Be Fuel Efficient – Being fuel-efficient can be accomplished in a variety of ways. Passively, you can save loads of money on gas by avoiding excessive acceleration from red lights (remember, life isn’t the Indy 500), or going the speed limit (going 75 mph burns significantly more gas than going 55 mph). Actively, however, you can save a lot by getting your errands done while you’re out anyway. If you’re driving home from work, stop off at the store when you pass it. Don’t wait until the weekend to go shopping, because you’re just wasting time and gas. Being fuel-efficient isn’t terribly difficult, and the rewards can really add up.

4. Go Thrifting – You might think that it’s impossible to find something nice to wear while thrifting, but it couldn’t be further from the truth. Sometimes very nice brand-name merchandise will make it into the racks of thrift stores. If you buy a brand new outfit for a fourth of the cost it might be from the original retailer, then you’ve just saved yourself, and your family a ridiculous amount of money. Your children can also benefit from thrifting. The bottom line is, it never hurts to look, and the amount of money you can potentially save makes it well worth the effort.

5. Avoid Credit Card Balances – Different families have different ways to manage finances. It’s my opinion that women should always be willing to take charge. One of the best ways to save money is to avoid carrying credit card balances. It’s no secret that credit card companies want people to not pay their cards of in full. This is because they make money by charging a significant amount of interest. This can all be avoided by staying on top of the credit card bills and paying them off in full. You may not see the results immediately, but the amount of money you will save in the long run can be quite significant.

6. Pay Those Bills Too – Along with not carrying credit card balances, you should stay on top of every bill you receive as well. When I was growing up, my mother always took care of the bills, and my family very rarely had to deal with an overdue bill or charge. Watching the mail like a hawk is a great way to ensure that pesky overdue fees will be avoided. As a result, you’ll be able to save some serious cash.

7. Turn Off The Lights – The stereotype goes that men are always the one’s complaining about people leaving the lights on. Of course, we know that women certainly realize that electricity isn’t free. The amounts of money that can be saved by turning off lights, televisions, and computers when they are not in use really ads up! Simply making the effort to remember to turn things off, as well as reminding anyone else in your family can drastically lower those pesky electric bills.

8. Watch The Heat and Air Conditioning – There’s another stereotype that men are always the one’s who complain about making it too hot or too cold. However, women are just as capable of keeping an eye on the thermostat in order to save some extra money. Generally, keeping the thermostat in the high 60s, or low 70s is the way to go. Keeping doors and windows closed also helps significantly. It is also important to remember, that if it is a warm summer day, but there is a nice gentle breeze, then turning the air conditioner off and opening all the windows in the house can do wonders to save money. Of course you want to remain comfortable at all times in your home or apartment, but that doesn’t mean you have to waste money with excessive thermostat temperatures.

Today women are expected to be leaders in the workplace, and in their families. Taking charge of finances may seem like a daunting task at times, but following these few simple tips can end up saving significant amounts in the long run. I personally love the old saying, “a penny saved is a penny earned.” If you’re bringing home the paycheck, you should certainly think about ways to keep more money so you can use some of it on yourself (it will be well deserved).

This featured post is presented by Iowahippiechick.

Since our weather has been so brutal these last few days, the homebody that I already tend to be, has been staying home even more. Therefore giving me a bit of quiet time for reflection. One of the things I have been contemplating is that whole “The Secret” thing, you know that book on the like attracts like philosophy - power of positive thinking.

Continue reading Do You Believe? at Iowahippiechick.

This featured post is presented by Girls
Just Wanna Have Funds.

Eating junk now leads to chronic illnesses later which means trips to the doctor, time off work which then means losing wages if you end up exhausting sick leave. This leads to stress about missing work due to illness which then leads to lower productivity which leads to sleepless nights which begins the cycle again. Let’s not forget deductibles and copays when you do go to the doctor. Make no mistake, you will have these expenses if you think eating healthy is too expensive.

Continue reading Eating Junk is Expensive at Girls Just Wanna Have Funds.

Divorce can have a financially devastating impact on your finances. If you’re a woman who has gone through a divorce (and you feel like sharing), what advice would you give someone regarding the financial aspects of divorce or marriage?

This featured post is presented by Sense to Save.

I used to get really excited when my grocery receipts showed my savings as a percentage.

“You saved 30 percent!” it would tell me. Hooray! or…not.

For awhile, I tried to bump up that number, attempting to save 40 or more percent off my bill.

Continue reading Forget Saving 75% Off at Sense to Save.

This featured post is presented by Mrs. Micah.

A little while back, I wrote about Imposter Syndrome, feeling like you don’t belong, like your work isn’t good enough, like you don’t deserve things, etc. For those of us who do freelance work or who sell crafts and commissions, this can be particularly difficult.

Continue reading You are not on sale! at Mrs. Micah: Finance and Life.